Tales from Rockslappia

Earlier this week, I posted about my experience on EU server with players that are… less skilled to say the least. Someone in the comments encouraged me to make a post talking about these plays I've seen. Just dunking on bad players isn't inherently funny, so i've selected the ones that are the most creative in their uselessness.

Fifth Place: Tychus at mastery level selects the Lone Wolf prestige on Rifts to Korhal. He then makes no attempt to ever split his outlaws, whether it is by surrounding one fight or pushing multiple places at once. He possibly simply thought that Tychus was op, and selected the prestige as a nerf to his prices and ultimate gear.

Fourth Place: Mengsk does not feel the need to leave his base on Miner Evacuation. He does not build Earthsplitters, and contribute in no way to the first two ships. I eventually take both expansions, in an attempt to get the funds to solo the mission. This finally prompts him to use his sizeable force of troopers to go destroy the stolen expansion. He does not, however, actually take the expansion, he simply walks his army back to his main, satisfied with a job well done. He does the same thing a second time, so I didn't bother trying to take it a third time. He finally moves out for the final ship, but doesn't get there in time to be any help anyway.

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Third Place: Artanis spends a Solar bombardment on a lone barracks on the western Celestial lock, about 10 seconds before my army would have killed it. In a desesperate attempt to one-up himself, he seizes his chance later when an enemy Raven attempts to take this lock. He casts one more Solar Bombardment, but this time manages to miss, and does not even kill that lone raven.

Second Place: Karax misplaces a cannon to take his expo, blocking his own Nexus like this:

You would expect a reasonable player to destroy the cannon. A slightly less optimal player might place the nexus a few tiles further. This player only decided to not take the expansion at all, deeming it not worth the hassle anymore. When he inevitably lost his main base later to a double attack wave, he went to my main to build a second nexus, and proceeded to mine from his expansion from there the whole game:

Needless to say, he didn't contribute anything to that game, and I eventually just took his main because he didn't seem to even want it anymore

First place: Dehaka misclicks on an Omega Worm in the early game, and never actually figures out where his hero is after many attempts to explain it to him. Plays the entire game without Dehaka, with the results you'd expect.

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Special Mention to the Swann that went Siege tanks only against an air comp on Oblivion Express and bragged about being masters league when I suggested he get science vessels and some anti air. He gets obliterated and leaves the game, forcing me to take over his base and noticing he had done literally no upgrades or research either. I was under the impression that siege tanks didn't hit air in ladder, but I don't play it enough so I guess I was wrong.


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