Stellaris

The UNE’s Great Failure and Betrayal

This is a story of the greatest backstab I've ever suffered in Stellaris. I started a game as a Criminal Megacorp, Human Lost Colony in Deneb. My society is Egalitarian, Xenophile and Materialist, so I imagine my megacorp as a kind of cartel of hippy drug dealers who ran away from Earth's totally uncool and restrictive drug laws. I met back up with the UNE not too long after the game started and at first we were friends.

However, the UNE quickly remembered why they didn't like my hippie drug dealers, and soon declared me a rival. No big deal, we think; maybe one day they'll come around and stop being such party poopers.

The mid-game comes along and I've formed a trade federation with a couple other Authoritarian Xenophile empires. They're not the ideal federation mates on account of all their slavery and whatnot, but hey, it's a tough galaxy. And I needed those trade benefits. Meanwhile, the UNE is busy forming their own Egalitarian federation, and sending me snide insults every once in a while. Until the UNE finally gets around to opening up the L-Gates. And it's the Grey Tempest, of course.

As is often the case, I am the only empire with anywhere near enough fleet power to fight off Tempest Shoals. I have just barely enough fleet power to beat a single fleet, though. There are no L-Gates in my territory, so I withdraw my fleets from the border war I was helping fight on behalf of my allies and begin a program of militarizing my economy and refitting all my ships with anti-Tempest weapons. Meanwhile, the Tempest Shoals are spreading out from the L-Gates, exterminating all life. One of my allies loses their homeworld while I am trying to increase my military power. The second ally's homeworld is not under attack yet but will be soon.

And that's when the UNE opens its borders and cries for help. There's a Tempest Shoal entering the Sol System.

Even though the UNE and I have been enemies for decades now, Earth is still humanity's home. My fleets have just finished being augmented and re-armed to fight the Tempest so I send all three of them into UNE space. They arrive in Sol to witness the Tempest Shoal bombarding Earth with grey goo nanite bombs, already at over 50% devastation. My fleets sweep into the inner system, returning at long last to their ancestral home as saviors. They smash the Tempest Shoal, saving billions of human lives.

A week later the UNE closes its borders to me again and sends all of my fleets MIA for 5 years. The treachery! The petty, stupid treachery! Five years where no one can fight the Grey Tempest at all! Five years of watching the Tempest Shoals rampage around my allies space, and even return to UNE space again through their unguarded L-Gate!

It was at that point I gave up all hope of trying to one day peacefully reconcile with the UNE. After the Grey Tempest was over, I turned around and conquered those fuckers.

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