Super Smash Bros

A magical quickplay moment I want to share

So I got home from the cinema last night having just watched the new James Bond movie. It was pretty late and we were pretty much just going to hit the sack instantly, but my gf likes to shower before bedtime and she showers for a pretty long time so I figured I'd play some quickplay until she was done. So we ended up on the sofa before she goes off to shower and I pick Ganondorf and enter the waiting room. I'm instantly matched in a 4 player brawl which surprised me – my Ganon is at 10.3m GSP and has 1v1 7 min no items favored ruleset, so having anything other than 1v1 matches are very rare and almost never happen.

In the match I face off against a King K Rool, a Pyra/Mythra and a Lucas. You know how 4 player matches go, they're never fair. So this King K Rool proceeds with exclusively going for me, ignoring the rest. The Pyra/Mythra player, named Mike, is camping and constantly goes from ledge to ledge and jumps around a lot, trying to avoid combat by having as much airtime as possible just to survive, and when the rest of us were down on 1 stock, Mike still had 3. Now camping just doesn't sit right with me and to top it off, when the Lucas and I die on our final stock, the King K Rool and Mike decides to just sit there and teabag for like 10 seconds, knowing Lucas and I can't do anything but just watch. Eventually Mike wins the game with his camping overpowered stupid big titted anime dlc waifu and we can all see on the scoreboard after the game that Mike had the least kills and damage done. Oddly enough, everyone sticks around (because in all honesty it was a pretty fun game, again, you never get 4 player matches lag-free on this GSP) and we get into a new match.

Now, like I said previously, camping doesn't sit right with me. Fueled by annoyance and spite, I make it my mission to make Mike as miserable as possible and I exclusively attack him, ignoring the rest. King K Rool and Lucas played on as they usually would.

Mind you, it is pretty difficult catching up to a camping Mythra as a Ganon player. Couldn't even reach the dude in the air for the most part, but fortunately I am likely one of the best Ganons in my region and I succeed with finishing Mike's final stock off before anyone else is below 2 stocks.

So we're now down to 3 players. Me, Lucas and King K Rool, and this is where the magic happens.

I may be 29 years old, but having grown up with gaming and Smash since Nintendo 64, that's not going to stop me from being an ass. If you camp like a little wuss, you know the teabag is coming. So I indeed proceed with teabagging just as Mike dies — I feel like this is me marking to Mike that his behavior was not tolerated.

In the same instant, the King K Rool and Lucas suddenly stop their fighting, and in this what felt like a magical moment, they both proceed with simulatenously teabagging as well.

I can only imagine what their faces looked like behind the screen. I can only guess that the Lucas and King K Rool were also laughing like madmen, knowing that Mike had just been punished for his behavior and was now forced to watch. Maybe that's just my self-projection talking here, but I don't think it was. You see, beause the teabagging just never stopped. Usually it lasts for a few seconds, but none of us ever stopped. It felt like an eternity of teabagging. After like 15-20 seconds of teabagging I wondered when one of them was going to stop and start fighting again instead, but they never did. I was ready to fight again, but I waited for one of the two other players to give a signal first, and in the meanwhile I continued teabagging. Even my girlfriend who's usually totally uninterested in games in general noticed the teabagging fiesta and also took part in this magical moment of gaming and joined in on the laughter.

Eventually, after what felt like an eternity, possibly hundreds of total teabags later, I was disconnected from the game due to inactivity. I have no idea what the game looked like after that, but it doesn't matter to me. Mike had to watch around 40 seconds of collective teabagging, and all is right in the world. I dealt my hand of justice, and slept like a child throughout the night.

I lead a wonderful life.


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