The Elder Scrolls

Devas Irano and the outlander. (Apocrypha)

Devas Irano shuddered in the wind on the dock of Vivec's foreign quarter. It would be another usual night in the city. The odd drunk or a lazy local would pay him a few coins to get rowed back to their canton, maybe some of the foreigners would feel brave and request a ride to one of the local dunmer taverns, Devas could usually get a few extra coins from them.

It was on this night that Devas encountered one such outlander. He turned his head to view an approaching traveler crossing the bridge into the city, and suddenly crocked an eye.

A lonely Khajiit crossed the bridge. Devas was not fond of the cat folk, but this was hardly what caught his attention. This cat was half-dressed in whatever armor it had probably stolen. A fur bracer here, an iron gauntlet there, and seemingly anything else thrown into the mix to make the most absurd outfit the dumner had ever seen. The Khajiit was also missing pants.

Furthermore, this cat did not walk or run like even the least sophisticated of cretins would be capable of. This cat simply hopped, bouncing his way forward one leap at a time. As Devas watched the cat hop his way across the bridge, the Khajiit turned its head to meet Devas's gaze, and then came crashing to stop.

For a moment the cat just stared at Devas, unmoving. Then, it quickly resumed its frog hop, only now the cat was heading fright for him.

The Khajiit bluntly landed a foot away from the confused and concerned Dunmer and greeted him with a smile. Devas, trying to put aside the unusual aspect of the situation greeted the cat bluntly, asking if he perhaps needed a ride to one of the city's many cantons.

The Khajiit seemingly didn't hear or simply ignored Devas. Instead, the cat, continuing to smile, simply saying. "That's the most lovely hat you are wearing."

"uhh, yes… thank you…" Devas replied, remaining courteous for the moment, but somewhat annoyed.

The Khajiit looked disappointed for a moment, but quickly returned to his smile and chimed up once again.

"And what big strong arms you have friend! Rowing everyone around all day certainly has its rewards I must say!"

Now Devas was taken aback. "What?" He scoffed. "What exactly are you trying to do here cat? You want a ride or not?" The cat continued to smile.

Thick in the head, as his predisposition had led Devas to believe, the Khajitt simply could not take the hint. He continued to bombard Devas with adulation that ranged from simple exaggeration to borderline inappropriate, to offensively inappropriate for two of their stations. Finally, Devas, being able to take no more screamed at the Khajitt. "GET LOST! NOW!" The Khajiit was by no means dissuaded.

It tried and tried again to the point Devas considered making up an excuse to call the guards on the cat. Finally, seemingly giving up, the Khajiit, casually asked Devas if he could ferry him to the temple of Vivec. Devas nearly laughed, telling the cat he would sooner serve a cliff Racer at this point.

And so, defeated, the Khajiit slowly sulked off to whatever business he had, Devas, relieved, took a much-needed exasperated sigh.

Then an arrow shot about two inches from Devas's nose.

Devas turned quick as a whip to see the cat frozen in shock, guiltily holding a short bow. "YOU N'WAH!" Devas shouted, as he grabbed his dagger and charged at the cat. Cowardly, the cat jumped straight off the canton and into the canal. Devas, full of rage, prayed to Vivec that night that he would never have to see that stupid cat again. Only that ended up being far from the case.

Devas would, unfortunately, see the Khajiit pass through the city quite frequently. He watched as his outfit went from the mess it had been to one of pure light armor, then one downed in a fine robe, then an expensive one, then one day an extravagant robe affordable only to the highest of nobles was seen on the cat. He almost wouldn't have recognized the Khajiit if it were not for the fact that the cat insisted on leaping its way around everywhere. The Khajiit's armor also changed from Netch Leather to chitin, to the day he saw the cat wearing glass on his outfit. Devas nearly had an aneurysm that day.

What was worse, the cat was also quickly becoming quite famous amongst his regulars. He unnervingly endured constant tales about the cats work in the fighters guild, the mages guild, the holy temple of the tribunal, even House Redoran seemed to fancy this fucking Khajiit.

During their encounters, the Khajiit, fortunately, left Devas alone, most of the time. On some unfortunate occasions though the cat would once again try to talk to him. It would offer words sweeter and sharper than it had known before, sometimes it would even try to hand Devas a large bag of gold. Devas turned his head to all of it, he wished simply for the cat to be eaten by a swarm of Cliff Racers and never returne.

Finally, one day one of his patrons delivered Devas some glorious news. The stupid cat had declared itself to be the Nerevarine. Devas smiled to himself the whole day. Surely when the temple heard of the khajiit's blasphemy he would be put down like the animal Devas knew he was, and maybe, if Devas saved his coins, he could buy himself a new rug.

About a month had passed when Devas suddenly saw the cat again, wearing nearly full Glass and his extravagant robe. The cat asked Devas to take him to the temple, he briefly considered it, for the joy of watching this Khajiit get flayed alive by the ordinators, but decided rather just to tell the cat to once again piss off. The cat once again hopped away, and Devas smiled.

Later that evening, a local priest hailed Devas for his service. As he ferried the holy man across the canals, he couldn't help but notice the distraught look on the priest's face.

"Anything interesting happen at the temple today?" Devas decided to ask.

The priest sighed. "I suppose it is my duty to inform you, as lord Vivec wills it so. I don't suppose you've heard of the Khajiit convict that recently has been declaring himself to be the Nerevarine?"

"I have heard of him." Devas replied simply.

"Well, Lord Vivec, blessed he be, has declared the outlander to be the True Incarnate."

Devas stopped rowing, nearly dropping his oar. he turned to the priest. "WHAT!?" He stammered. Then, by cursed or possibly divine circumstances, before this troubled priest could reply. A figure suddenly shot into the sky from out of the st. olms canton. Devas and the priest both looked up to see the khajiit flying through the air, a scroll in his hand, in the direction of Red Mountain. Like a child born cursed by Sheogorath, he heard the Khajiit cry out. "NEREVARINNNNNNNNNNNNNNE!"

"He goes now to Red Mountain for the final confrontation with Dagoth Ur." The priest said. "May the tribunal be with him."

Devas did not sleep a wink that night. He nearly prayed for Dagoth Ur to reign victorious.

The next day however the word was quickly spread. The blight was gone, the Nerevarine had won.

A fortnight went by. Devas hardly spoke to anyone. There was still his job as a gondolier but even his regulars began to notice something off in the old Dunmer. They all talked excitedly about the Nerevarine. About the defeat of Dagoth Ur. About what this meant for Morrowind. Devas tried not to listen.

Finally, one day Devas looked up to see the familiar cat bouncing his way towards him. He sighed.

"Listen." He said as the cat abruptly stopped in front of him. "I… I don't really know how to talk to important folk like yourself. You are the Nerevarine after all. But I suppose I… I just want to say thank you, Sera, for everything."

The Khajiit flashed a smile at Devas and leaned forward to speak. "Azura told me she never cursed your race. You all just look like that because apparently, your ancestors liked to fuck ash hoppers and… well things happened… how does that make you FEEEEL!"

Devas snapped. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU YOU FLEA-RIDDEN HOUSE CAT!" He shouted as he drew his dagger and charged at the Khajiit. The cat only smiled. Devas thrusted his dagger, but the Khajiit swiftly dodged the attack. The cat then pulled a single potion from his robe and began to drink as Devas charged again.

Before he could strike again, Devas watched, now in horror, as the Khajiit suddenly leaped at least fifty feet into the air. "NEREVARINE!" Shouted the cat from the air as he pulled out a spear and began to descend. Devas, suddenly realized he was fucked.

He ran, but the cat simply moved forward and landed in front of him with a smile. Devas turned to flee, and in doing so felt himself get hit by a spell, it didn't hurt however, the cat must have been toying with him. He tried once again to run away, this time, however, with power no man or mer should have, the Khajiit thrusted his spear clean through Devas's body.

Devas opened his eyes to see his corpse lying on the canton floor. The Khajiit, the Nerevarine, knelt over and remove his hat from his old head, before simply placing it on its own. "I've always wanted this hat!" He heard the cat say before suddenly they were moving. He was being bounced away with the Khajiit.

"You too huh?" A familiar but impossible voice said to Devas. Astounded, Devas stuttered back. "L-Lord Vivec!!??, IS THAT YOU!?"

"Yeah, it's me." Said Vivec. "Lots of room in Azura's star it seems. Of course, it's not supposed to be able to hold mortal souls, let alone multiple… but Azura really liked this one. Better not to think about it. Let's just hope he doesn't put us in a pair of pants or something. Oh, and Amelexia is in here too."

"Sup." Said Amelexia.

And Devas screamed…


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