TL;DR I am playing Oblivion and looking for you guys to give me some objectives to complete i.e. become arena grand champion, murder a specific NPC, steal a specific item, complete a quest you enjoyed or explore some old ruin. Also get creative if you want and I will try to keep updates going as long as I get feedback!
Completed objectives do not represent everything I've done ! Just completed goals either given to me or that I came up with myself due to lack of direction. some completed objectives are not covered in this post as I will be waiting to see if feedback on this is worth continuing the story 🙂
Make my way to Anvil
Return to and clear Fyrelight Cave
Save up 4000 Septims to purchase a horse
Complete Seeking Your Roots
(10/10) (2/20) Join the Thieves Guild Punch a random NPC (I'm going with Falanu Hlaalu of Skingrad for reasons detailed below)
If you're interested in the story to date, keep reading the full post below!
(THERE ARE POTENTIAL SPOILERS BELOW IF YOU HAVE NOT PLAYED THIS GAME YET)
Not tutorial help or anything like that but more like objectives a DM might give a player in a DnD campaign. I started out by having my buddy create my character so I will give a quick rundown of that; I am a female orc named "We Havin Sex?" born under the sign of the shadow. My class is "Ass Eater" consisting of Agility and Luck as my majority attributes and Alchemy, Armorer, Marksman, Light Armor, Security, Sneak and Restoration as my major skills. I am to be an "ass eating assassin" according to my friend, whom I will refer to as Bob. Great, that's very mature Bob thank you.
Bob and I decided to give We Havin Sex? a couple restrictions as well to make the game more "enjoyable." The first is limited fast travel; I can only fast travel to cities and only if I have already visited the area. Also I can only use bows and hand-to-hand for combat. (I actually had to add hand-to-hand because I forgot that marksman is pretty much useless under water which I will come to later) Another I put on myself was every time I pass a beggar I have to give them a gold coin. I know she's supposed to be an assassin but I'd like to think of We Havin Sex? as the orc Robin Hood.
My first objective was vague; make my way to Anvil. This came about because Bob took a look at the physical map that came with the game and decided that was probably the farthest point he could make me walk to (Though I think maybe Leyawiin would've been a bit more of a hike but don't tell him that.) After making my way through the imperial sewers and finding myself on a coast outside the city I realized I had used almost my entire stash of arrows I had saved up leading up to the death of the emperor in the dungeons.
I made my way to the Market District and sold any and everything that wasn't on my person or an ingredient for potion making and wound up with a whopping 150 Septims. This I spent on 75 iron arrows and prayed that it's enough to last the trip. I then began heading west, heading out the city through the Talos Plaza District and crossing the bridge over Lake Rumare.
I ran into an old farmer at Weye and he seemed pretty upset. When I asked him what was going on he told me his leg had been eaten by a slaughterfish while he was out collecting scales for a young alchemist who offered a fortune for the "rare" ingredients. They must have excellent prosthetics in Cyrodiil though because he seemed to be walking just fine. He mentioned that what he would get from this alchemist along with what he had in his life savings would be enough for him to retire on. This piqued my interest a little bit so I pressed the matter but he (like most people I had encountered up to this point in my playthrough) wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. "That's information I would only share with someone I like," he says to me casually. So me and my magnificent 25 personality decided we would try to persuade him to like us. After a fair amount of joking, admiring, boasting and coercion he changed his tune, though.
After maxing his disposition he told me that he kept his life savings in a chest he had enchanted so it could only be opened with a key he kept on him at all times. So being the good doobie I am I obviously nicked it from his pockets. After breaking into the farmer's home it took me all of 15 seconds to find his storage chest. I popped the key in the lock and opened that sumbitch up and this poor guy had 20 Septims in there. I closed the chest, snuck back out and put the key back in his pocket. You can keep it, friend, I don't steal from the poor. Like I said, orc Robin Hood.
Next I figured it was time to try to help him out, so I made my way over to the shore of the lake and began looking for one of these rare specimen. Also fun fact; regular slaughterfish scales do not count towards the 12 I need for completion of the quest, they MUST be from Lake Rumare. I couldn't see anything from the surface so I dived on into the water and swam around for a solid 5 minutes before finding one of those suckers. I knocked my first arrow, drew back the string and released what should have been a fatal shot towards the bastard's head and……. nothing. The arrow casually floated away because why wouldn't the physics in a Bethesda game fuck me? Every single arrow I tried to shoot floated lazily to the surface as the damned beast gnawed at my face and arms. To date this is the only time in game that I have died. Yep. To a slaughterfish. I load back up and find myself back outside the shop in the Market District. Time to get my hands dirty.
This is when hand-to-hand was added to my usable skills on the restrictions list because I could not kill anything with a bow underwater. I'm hoping if I can get the Bands of Kwang Lao from outside the arena this can be a viable option if I run out of arrows mid-fight. I then proceeded to find and kill six of the little bastards but I couldn't find anymore than that. So fuck it, time to keep pressing on. I'm still trying to get to Anvil anyways. I started heading west again, making a couple stops along the way in cursed mines and clearing bandits out of old forts. Nothing too noteworthy, although I did stumble my way into the shrine of the Daedric prince Clavicus Vile. One of the disciples there said I could offer up 500 gold to strike a deal with the deity, but being pretty broke I sheepishly declined.
Much of my westward journey was undisturbed, though I did come upon two highwaymen, a troupe of bandits and several wolves. I passed through Skingrad and stopped to sell the junk I had collected from dungeon diving. Nothing too much although now I had amassed around 700 or so Septims. I had leveled up a little bit and was feeling more comfortable with marksman. I had looted quite a few arrows from some goblins in one of the cursed mines I stopped in too so I decided to stop on every marker I passed between Skingrad and Anvil.
As I ventured across the Gold Coast I again filled up my small inventory with semi-valuable loot I would eventually manage to send at a measly 40% of their base value. I only did two things worth going over. I discovered a place called Fyrelight cave, which had an entrance right off the Gold Road. I made my way in as far as I could, but only found a key and was unable to access certain other parts of the cave system that I could see on the map. I'm determined to return and find another entrance because there has to be one! The other is I found a Nirnroot and in the 15 years since I first played Oblivion I have never once done the Seeking Your Roots quest so I decided to add that to my list of objectives.
Finally, I arrived at Anvil! After a long adventure I decided to head to the local inn and rest up. On my way over there I was approached by a downtrodden fellow who was complaining that a group of women took advantage of him at a local pub by luring him out to a farmstead under pretenses of sexual excitement, removed his clothes and then robbed him blind. I didn't feel too bad honestly cause he was only upset because his wife found out, but I told him I would get his family heirloom back. After a quick nap I headed to the tavern to fish for any information.
The stars and planets must have aligned because as soon as I walked in I was approached by a rather aggressive woman offering me "the opportunity of a lifetime." She said her and a gang of her friends had a lucrative deal I'd be hard to pass up on. Seeing as I'm looking for a gang of women robbing married men like some Ashley Madison Smash n Grabbers I agreed to meet up with them. She told me to meet her around 11:00 PM and left the bar. It was kind of an awkward encounter because we were pretty much the only people in there besides the guy they just robbed.
I had a couple hours to kill so I decided to walk around town looking for some more leads. A guy offered to sell me a mansion for 5000 Septims. Kinda sketchy and a lot of the town folk claim to hear spooky noises coming from inside, so I'm gonna have to pass for now, thanks tho homie. I also caught a lead on figuring out what the hell the Nirnroot is and what it's for. The local alchemist pointed me in the direction of Sinderion, an Altmer who is currently residing in Skingrad and has esoteric knowledge of rare alchemical ingredients. I wonder if he's the alchemist the farmer from Weye was working for… I also bravely stayed the hell away from the chapel because there was a series of gruesome murders and now there's a madman standing outside claiming to be some kind of prophet of a forthcoming hero. Sounds like a problem for the player character, heh heh. ………wait
I head out to the farmstead the aggressive lady specified and made it just in the nick of time. When I came in she started spouting something about robbing the horrible men of Anvil blind (which to be fair, robbing men who are trying to commit adultery isn't that bad in my eyes but I already told the guy I'd get his wife's stupid ring back so here we are). I told her my true purpose wasn't to join her but bring her to justice and her and her two friends pulled out their weapons and began attacking me. After a very intense, indoor firefight the three gang members lay slain on the floor of the cabin AND WHO WALKS IN BUT THE GUY WHO HIRED ME DRESSED AS A GUARD. Him and his "wife" used me to flush the robbers out! They gave me a couple hundred Septims, apologized for putting my life in danger and sent me on my way.
Out of game, another friend whom I will call Ned expressed interest in giving me some objectives. Ned is the DM of my current DnD campaign and so I was excited at the prospect of what they could cook up. However his direction were just as vague as Bob's were. "Start a fight with an NPC of your choice" Ned says to me. Great. I've managed to stay out of trouble with the law, now I'm about to assault someone in broad daylight.
Unsure of what to do next I decided that I should try to save up the money to get myself a horse and make traveling between locations a little easier. I stopped at the stable and they want 4000 Septims for a white horse! Another goal obtained. I decided to venture around the Gold Coast looking for anything and everything to scavenge to sell to obtain this ludicrous amount of money. In the mean time I made my way back to Skingrad to ask around about Sinderion, the alchemist. I headed to "All Thing Alchemical," the local alchemy shop. Inside I met an interesting Dunmer woman named Falanu Hlaalu. She pointed me in the direction of the West Weald Inn as the place Sinderion had settled in. We spoke a little of her past and her journey from Morrowind to Cyrodiil. She told me she wasn't able to return to Morrowind. Just as I went to leave Falanu stopped me and asked if I knew what the penalty for necrophilia was… I stared back in abject horror. I told her it was a crime punishable by a fine of up to 500 Septims and she seemed….. relieved. It clicked to me that desecrating the dead was a crime punishable by death in Morrowind and that must be why she was on the run. Looks like I've found the NPC that I'm going to be getting into a fistfight with.
Since beginning to type this out I have actually adventured around more, but to save myself a little time if no one is interested I am going to end this part here! Feel free to ask any questions or give any objectives. As long as it fits with my character or is possible without cheating I will do my best to get them all done! To anyone who read all of this, thank you! I hope you've enjoyed my adventure as much as I have. All I can say is that replaying this game reminds me why young me loved it so much. I'm glad to be back and delving into the planes of Oblivion!
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