The Elder Scrolls

Other Thoughts From the Cosistently Constipated Altmer Champion of Vivec

Content of the article: "Other Thoughts From the Cosistently Constipated Altmer Champion of Vivec"

Good Day. To anyone who might readeth this nonsenseth. I shall begineth on a positivish note. Miss WILDERQUEEEEN!!!!! The only friend I havr known in this life, virtual or not. When beginning the quest I didn't think much of it. Just another "gifted" individual working with the Heritance that I must stomp on with the sole of my hoarver poop stained prisoner sandal. But I was once again proven wrong. She was indeed gifted. I really liked her. It felt like she truly cared for me. In a real genuine way that I have never known… I know… I know… I kinda invaded her memories which allowed her to think of me as her friend. But nonetheless it felt nice to be appreciated and considered a friend. One of my most favorite quests, 5/10 would do again.

I did that artist quest in Summerset. It was cool. That dude gotta chill. Of course I did not snatch up the last of that plant because I am every enviornmentally concious. But at the end, when the woman was gonna paint me. My only option was to say that I didn't have the time. EXCUSE ME! Where do you need to be? Our dungeon queues are 40 minutes. We got time for two portraits. "I'm very busy" my flat Altmer booty. Would have loved a portait of my decrepit self.

Which brings us to the next point, the illusion of choice. Kinda sucks when you don't actually have a choice in quests. Which may be good as I often dont read nor listen to dialogue. But, there is no reason to give me the text option if I truly only have a singular choice. Example, Summerset ending parts. My mindset was "heck naw we aint workin with the people we have been fighting this entire time." But was there an actual option? Negative. I was down to dig a tunnel under the crystal tower with my excavation brush. But no, work with these rude princes who have been giving me so much trouble.

I went to the phantom of the opera keep thing. That ghost took me for a fool. I was just jamming out to her tunes amongst the rise bodies of her ancestors. But I there are necro players and just because you have an unconventional talent doesn't mean your family must burry you alive. I should have known. At the end of her song when her back was facing me, the creepy vibes were very present. I believe the song went like "the dead bodies smell so nice. I hate living people. I'm crazy". Something like that. I was preparing myself for a jump scare. But I still released her like a fool. Should have just cast that damned soul trap. At least then one of my staves would be charged. I felt dirtier than usual after that one. I had to cleanse myself within the murky waters below wayrest after that one.

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I would like to now speak on guards. I can't stand the lot of um. Nah, mainly the bank ones. I can mostly speak on the Summerset ones. Upon entering my chosen financial institution, the guard just shouts "WHAT PUNK! TAKE THAT STANK SKEEVER HIDE OF YOURS BACK TO WHATEVER DUMB YOU COME FROM". Excuse me mam I have done nothing to you. After hours of adventuring, all I want is to be able to deposit my hard earned 5 gold coins into my account. So that I may save up for that iron dagger of frost. But no, you must harrass me each time. "YOU BETTER KEEP THEM WEAPONS SHEATHED BEFORE I SICK THE DP ON YO STANK CRUSTY BOOTY". Lady, I happen to know the Queen and I will tell her that you hurt my feelings.

Since im talking about Alinor, I shall continue to do so. Anyone know whats up with the altmer in the corner by the crafting area. Always saying things like "what's the point of going on" "life sucks" "that bank guard has coral crabs in her armor". Perhaps he is just the digital manifestation of my subconcious. I which case, what man?

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A quest that I think relates to real life is college one in Auridon. I realized that it is much like the school native people were forced to attend which stripped away their cultures, language and identity. Being punished for being who they are. Kinda painful to see because I learned of nearly identical situations occuring within the lives of many including my ancestors. They way to break a people down is to strip them of their identity, language and culture. Needless to say, when I stumbled upon this institution, I immediately when to equiped fire storm, unsable wall, maw of the infernal, and my nasty prisoner slips. Prepared to burn and stop it all down to the ground. But apparently we can't do that. So I acted as the self appointed, "Royal Racist Butt Kicker of the Dominon". I completed this quest 2x as High Elves… I am scared to do it as a Khajit tbh.

I really appreciate it when random npcs comment on my achievements. It makes feel that I have had an impact. Except when that nasty old man curses me for killing the kinlady saying she is the rightful ruler. In times like these restraint is a concept which nearly elludes me. But I actually can't afford to pay the fine for murder. Seeing as I had just deposited my cherished 5 gold coins.

Thanks if you read this. I hope it made sense as I am not mentally well. Thanks, see you on the rift.

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