Excerpt from the diary of Garmok gro-Mugamgog
13. Last seed
I finally did it! I have been accepted into the academy and can start my studies next week. I'm looking forward to telling my parents. I'll be the first Orsimer of Largashbur to make it to university. I was never good at forging or hunting. Fighting was also only partly suited to me. Alchemy, Writing and Magic! Those were my strengths. I just belong there and I will make my clan proud!
My clan rejected me. Those Mothertusking Whoresons said I was a disgrace to Malacath. MALACATH?! What did he ever do for me, huh? No matter. I took some food with me, grabbed my diary and stole my mother's jewelry. Will sell it in Rifton and finance my trip to Cyrodiil.
18. Last seed
My producers' jewelry was worth a lot. A red-haired Nord gave me more than enough for the ride to the Imperial City. The lady at the university reception looked affraid when I entered as an orc. She probably almost fired a fireball in my face. But I showed her my invitation and was taken to a room. Now my new life begins!
20. Last seed
I love this city! There are even other orcs here. And they like me! Sure, none of them are at the university at the university but I enjoy their company and they mine! Hope I find more friends here.
26. Last seed
I saw the emperor! Uriel Septim VII. himself! He looked so noble and wise in his robes. Not like my damned chief. He even shook my hand and told me how glad he was to have an Orsimer in the university. The tensions between our two peoples have become much more relaxed in recent years. Many of my orc friends in town work for the Legion. We have arrived in society and I am already looking forward to seeing the emperor again. A real role model for all non-orcs when it comes to dealing with orcs.
27. Last seed
The emperor is dead. He was killed in prison in front of his bodyguards. The whole city, oh what! The whole empire is in turmoil. Rumors of cults permeate the alleys and streets. I admit that I never had to worry about such things in Largashbur. But no matter what, I'm not going back. I am a magician and I belong to the university.
It just doesn't get any better! Gates into the realm of oblivion have been seen all over Tamriel. I know I shouldn't worry, but I hope Largashbur is fine. And if not? Than that's just the way it is. My research is important. I want to study the mating behavior of Imps and Nixads.
Every successful research, so a colleague told me, has to be broken down to a core question. This is the only way to conduct research in a clean, manageable and structured manner. So here is my key question: How do Imps fuck?
That may seem vulgar and marginal now, but have you ever looked at the Nixads? They are so small! I hired a cute Bosmeri with the research budget to catch a couple of Imps and Nixads. Then I'll see how and with what they mate.
The goblins have penises. It's that simple. And matching the size of the Nixads, they are tiny. But what gives me a headache is Tsundi's behavior. That's what I called the Nixad. The Bosmer swore by the holy lettuce (or something like that) that she had caught the two of them making love. If you can just sneak up on them during sex … then why am I researching? Whatever. Successful research is a must in order to maintain my scholarship.
As I said, the Bosmer caught the two of them making love. And yet I can't get the two of them to sleep with each other. And that's all because of stupid Tsundi! Little-D, the Imp, really does his best to please the Nixade.
I made it really nice for both of them! A large glass tank with flowers, meadow, mushrooms. Everything Imps should please. But Tsundi is not impressed. As soon as Little-D makes his advances, Tsundi pushes him away or even slaps him on the face. Often she simply crosses her arms and utters a cuddly "Pooh!" I even used pheromones, which only made Little-D self-gratifying. I took samples of his excrement and yes. It is what you think it is. Just not much. Is he perhaps sterile and therefore unattractive to Tsundi?
15. Hearth fire
(Blood drops on the paper make reading difficult)
I was bitten. From Tsundi! I wanted to snap Little-D and examine him under anesthesia. Find out if everything is physically okay with him. And then this bitch from Nixad comes flying over and bites my finger! First does she pretend Little-D is just an annoying thing and then she protects him? Stupid thing. I'll attack again at night.
Little-D is healthy! I let Miria, another researcher, examine the little guy, and she didn't find any problems. The amount of excretion I described to her also seems good. Tomorrow morning I'll put Little-D back in the tank. Unfortunately, I broke his wing while grabbing. The Bosmer was probably more skilled at catching than I wanted to tell her.
Can you believe that? When I put Little-D back in the tank, Tsundi came flying over and cuddled up to him! I even saw her cry while she literally caressed him. She patted his head, massaged his wings and … cuddled him. I almost got jealous! As soon as I took him away from her, she seemed to recognize what she found in him. At least that's how I can explain it to myself. But that Nixad can cry is a novelty. I didn't find anything about it in the dictionaries. Now the two only have to sleep together.
They did it! The lovemaking lasted less than 5 minutes and everything happened in a flower. It was kind of cute to see them cuddle in blossom after sex. Now I can see how long it takes for a Nixad to become pregnant and give birth. There is no information on this either.
Eight Imps and ten Nixads. That's how much Tsundi gave birth to. It only took a week! And now my research room is full of Imps and Nixads, because the critters got the tank open. How do I get rid of them now?
I can't get them off. I opened all the windows and carried them out one by one, but they kept flying in. I think from now on I am Garmok gro-Mugamgog: Papa of the Imps and Nixads.
- You have your A-level results, now to find League of Legends players at your University!
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More about The Elder ScrollsPost: "The mating behavior of Imps and Nixads" specifically for the game The Elder Scrolls. Other useful information about this game:
- Artifacts of Arch-Mage Vorian Faether, Section Two
- Convenience & Arena Bug & Marketing Suggestions (#10)
- Janiath’s Adventure pt.3
- Darien Gautier and the great power of Lights of Meridia which cause a small Dragon Break
- Is the Dominion garrison at Northwatch Keep even aware of the spooky Volkihar castle?
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