Warframe

I’ve just finished my First and Last Kuria “”Speed””run Ever (+31hs)

This is what happens when you ran out of stuff to farm in Warframe. I started Saturday 3rd, 14:20 GMT-4 (hehe) and ended Sunday 4th, 21:48. It took 31hs 28mins (including the 4'ish hours of sleep and bathroom breaks). I still can see the game inside my head. Please DO NOT attempt to Speedrun Kurias if you want to keep your sanity, I did it because I wasn't sane to start with. I don't think there is a Kuria record, but in any case is not one worth breaking.

But if you are a madman crazy enough, a chad speedrunner of the olympics or an absolute Tenno Veteran with no more neurons left to lose, here is a list of things you need to know:

  • Here is the Guide I used from u/Epsilonson. Sir, you saved my life. Is one of the few sorted by Tileset and its all explained very well, with expected number of runs and suggested Nodes.
    • You will also need

    • You MUST hunt for Tilesets, not Kuria Order, so you can get familiar with how they spawn and connect. I honestly think I got lucky in Uranus, I got most of them in by the time I started getting familiar with the place. Like 8 of the total 14 in the first 3 runs. My best advice is to check the close up pictures of the map in the guide from Epsilon, and memorize their shapes, kinda like a puzzle. In Ceres I used Catalimbo to see these shapes better.
  • Aborting the missions is always faster than extraction, so even though you are running the whole map to extraction, quitting is preferable (unless you got something you want to keep). The Kuria Scanner progress is tracked even if you leave.
  • You will be doing mostly Capture, but Mobile Defense and Sabotage in Uranus, and Excavation in Venus force-spawn some Kurias.
  • Use a fast frame that can ignore enemies, like Wukong, Loki or Limbo. I used Loki, except when trying to see a specific room shape in Ceres.
  • Beware of Ceres 12-3. Not only is EXTREMELLY Rare but is placed at extraction, so its easy to accidently leave the mission while trying to scan it. Here is me making sure I don't F* it up. This Kuria was like half the time of the run, I'm not even kidding.
  • Here is the last Kuria and the Three e-mails back to back with the Emblem, Glyph and Decoration (1st one is at 50% Kurias found, 2nd at 75% and last at 100%). I put the Kuria on top of my MR30 Shrine to remind myself everyday I quite literally explored every corner of the Sol System.

Honestly… I liked this. I got to see the game from another angle, there is a lot of attention to detail in these maps, and the procedural generation of each room is incredible when you realize how they connect to each other. I also found 2 Rare Grineer Containers and 1 Rare Corpus one, got invaded by Stalker 2 times (still no Smoking Body Ephemera) and the Grustrag Three once and even the Kiddo showed up to laugh at me. Earth and Mars were easy peasy lemon squeezy. Jupiter was kinda nice and you also have the Secret Rooms there. I hate Uranus as I always did, and Sharkwing with its underwater corridors with rare rooms at the end. But Ceres, which is one of the earlier planets, and one of the most forgettable places in the whole system, was difficult difficult lemon difficult, and thus it has become one of the most memorable places in my Warframe history. You think these places are common and you've seen them a thousand times but when you actually look for them they suddenly don't exist anymore. Ceres 12-3 was hard, but there are a couple of others (like the Sunk Ship in Uranus, or the open spaces in Mars) which require a lot of runs to spawn and sometimes are away from the main course of the map.

So remember kids, don't do Warframe or you will end up like me, searching for little dolls hidden in cracks in the corners of procedurally generated rooms across multiple planets. I entered the heart itself of the RNG maze of Warframe and I came out alive, but others might not have such luck.

Thanks for reading Tenno! Have a nice day. Im going to sleep now.

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